i'm not here anymore. come and find me!

numbers in the woods

450: miles driven.
7: old people we befriended.
0: people our age we befriended.
18: holes of frisbee golf.
6: Michael Jackson tribute shows watched.
136: pictures taken.
5: postcards purchased.
1: brutal sunburn.
300: thread count on the Egyptian cotton sheets.

Posted via email from jessica's posterous

A few months ago, my brother, Christopher, asked me what I would do with a generous amount of money. My answer was a lifetime of health insurance. When I dream of adventures and look ahead to the future, diabetes is the one thing that holds me back from selling everything I feel defines me and traveling the world. I've spent the last ten years limiting myself by a small but defining drop of blood.

I have always been mindful (thank you, Marsha Lingham!) of the bigger picture. Diabetes has had an immense impact on my walk with Jesus. I have been humbled to my knees, reminded daily of my need for a savior; need for 15 grams of carbohydrates. I am quite certain I would be a much different person with a functioning pancreas. I would be careless with my body and fearless in the presence of danger, with little regard for my mortality. This disease reminds me how precious each morning is, each breath. 

Of course, diabetes has not been entirely enlightening. I catch myself limiting God's movement in my life because of the reality of my fragility. How could He possibly send me across the world to be His hands and feet when I can barely escape a meal without risking my life due to human error or carelessness on my part? When it comes to my health, I am hard pressed to take the leap of faith and believe in the unseen power of my Creator. I have seen Him do amazing things in my life. He has redeemed me with His unfailing love and opened and closed doors that have essentially led me to this moment today. Surely He is able to bring glory to the Kingdom through my situation. What am I missing out on because of my limiting faith?  

this video gives me a longing to travel. and holding hands. enjoy.

Jason Mraz - I'm Yours
Uploaded by jasonmrazworld.

congratulations, erin!

From erin's grad weekend

"to be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. this is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation." oswald chambers

prayer

i am in the midst of reading Phillip Yancey's Prayer. i am completely rocked by every page. i have stumbled upon this intimate and painful journey through my devotions. it's exciting and desperately in need of a pint of ben & jerry's all at the same time. i thought i would share some of my favorite quotes by Yancey and other notable followers of Christ on the matter of prayer.

"christian discipleship is not a question of our doing, it is a matter of making room for God so that He can live in us." j. heinrich arnold

"when i come to God in prayer, do i bare the deepest, most hidden parts of myself? only when i do so will i discover myself as i truly am, for nothing short of God's light can reveal that. i feel stripped before that light, seeing a person far different from the image i cultivate for myself and for everyone around me." yancey

"we must lay before Him what is in us, not what ought to be in us." c.s. lewis

thoughts?

hot pockets

i am getting really excited about the coming months. lots of travel and house guests. finally some progress in school. planning a trip is always full of geeky enjoyment for me. but the thing i am most explosively giggly about is a new friend i have made. we've decided to start meeting once a week for fellowship and prayer. it has been five years of spiritual drought and a lack of community in my life. a christian can only thrive and grow so much alone in a corner. we are called to love one another. here i am. wanting to love. you. i am honestly excited for the emotional challenges ahead. the boundaries on my heart will be shattered and reshaped by the hands of my Savior. priorities will be demolished and built up with heavenly purpose. you better believe i will cry. openly!

"if your first concern is to look after yourself, you'll never find yourself. but if you forget about yourself and look to Me, you'll find both yourself and Me." matthew 10:39

i'm so over myself.

twittersphere!

'I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The die is cast; I have stepped over the line; the decision has been made; I’m a disciple of His; I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or sit still. My past is forgiven, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I’m finished and done with low-living, sight-walking, small-planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, “chincy-giving” and dwarfed goals. I no longer need prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits or popularity. I don’t have to be first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by grace, walk by faith, learn by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by His power.

My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my guide reliable, and my mission clear. I cannot be brought back, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity.

I won’t give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, prayed up, paid up, and preached up for the cause of my Lord Jesus. I am a disciple of His. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. And when He comes for His own, I don’t want Him to have any trouble recognizing me…I want my colors to be clear!'

-found on the cot of an African native after his martyrdom